I Woke Up Praying Today

I woke up praying today. I used to be a hardcore Evangelical Christian for 30+ years, until recently. I caught myself and thought, “Who the hell am I praying to? I’m not supposed to believe in God!” Then I replied to myself, “Just do whatever you want. You are a rebel by nature. So you can even revolt against your own new found atheism sometimes.” Anyways, after reading books on Atheism, Agnosticism, Freethought, Humanism, etc, I found they have many good points, but honestly, it doesn’t cover all the necessary issues of life and spiritual needs. OTOH, I’m so wary of New Age & the Human Potential movements with Deepak Chopra, Eckhart Tolle, Dalai Lama et al. I want my life to follow REALITY, not everyone’s “visions”, “revelations”, and other various sundrious ridiculousnesses. Looks like this spiritual journey is going to take a lot of time and effort ; ) . . .

Cheers,

Brandr

The Seeker Keeps Seeking

 

For me, I’m in a curious place in my Spiritual Journey:

 

 

 

Relieved to be out of the Evangelical worldview.  It’s a huge change.  Recently I looked at some of my old journals and songwriting: it’s ALL Evangelical.  So now I feel like someone bit by a dog.  Scared to consider other metaphysical pitches.  I think this is a healthy fear.  On the other hand, I have in my phone some lectures from Bertrand Russell on “Why I’m Not A Christian” and one file says that religion is based on fear.  There’s all the apocalypticism that says the world will soon end and Jesus will return.  Along with listening to “wise” American preachers like Rick Warren, Timothy Keller, Charles Swindoll, John Piper, etc for guidance into everyday life.  Now I see it all as a crock of doggy doo-doo.

 

 

 

Wary of New Age.   From what you said, it sounds a lot like the “New Age” ideology of people I knew.  My Mom has been deep into it for decades.  Sorry to say, but it seems to be as superstitious as Evangelicals, e.g., hearing the voice of God, the “calling”, predicting the future, etc.  So far I’m planning to steer clear of Deepak Chopra, Dalai Lama, Thich Nhat Hanh, Eckhart Tolle, and all the other feel-good prophets.  To me, they pitch the same “we know all & we’ll offer it to you at the high price of a lecture or book”, similar to the American Evangelicals.

 

 

 

Attracted to the rebellion, cheekiness and “hard” science of the New Atheists.   Also a writer I admire, Chris Hedges, basically states that the New Atheists like Sam Harris, Christopher Hitchens, Richard Dawkins, Bill Maher, etc are basically a mirror image of the American Fundamentalists who badger and criticize all religions and enforce a kind of Fascist worldview.  On the other hand, in documentaries or books I’ve seen, I think the New Atheists are doing us all a favour in warning us against the ridiculousness that Christians and other religionists  bring to the public square.  They’re basically saying that the Christian God cannot exist, and I agree.  However, to replace religion, all they offer is science.  I am also wary of the scientists telling us the meaning of life.  They, along with other capitalists who fund them, are responsible for the new yet unnecessary technology that is polluting the planet and turning humans into machines. Scientific triumphalism appears to me just as cocky as Evangelicalism.

 

 

 

Truth, truth, where art thou?  In fact, who really knows the truth?  For me, when I go out into a forest, there is a secret wisdom that goes far beyond anything humans can come up with.  This is the place of truth.  Human society, as inevitable as it may seem, is at odds with Mother Nature, and the result is our alienation from her, and from reality.  Just sitting there, with no thoughts of spirits, angels, demons, reincarnations around her, Mother Nature just IS.  And in a curious way, she almost mocks us.  For our arrogance. For our greed.  For our constant dissatisfaction.  Here is where I believe I can find truth.

 

 

 

And yet, human society is here, and I have to be a part of it, like it or not.  And because I’m forced to be a part of it, I will make the best of it, and point myself and others to the simple truths of Mother Nature and reality, without all the hocus-pocus and false promises of religion and commercialized spirituality.

 

 

 

The Force?  In fact, I began remembering the Star Wars movies I saw as a kid.  They talked about the “Force”.  I remember in seminary, we studied “Animism” as if all the natives who believed in it were stupid and childlike, and their simplistic spirituality was a form of natural rebellion at the “obviousness” of monotheism.  From my research, I found that “The Force” has been a belief around the world for many cultures, for many millennia.  But now, I am getting into another weird New Agish belief here?

 

 

 

First Nations and Spirituality  It seems to me that indigenous peoples, who have been living closest to nature and have not fully “bought into” the Western-style life of technology, industry, resource extraction, urbanization, compulsory K-12+university education, etc, have something that the rest of us don’t have.  Of course, they’ve suffered horrendously for not buying into the system.  But they’re still here, and their lives are a sign, a testament, to an alternative that Westerners and all the other Western-Wannabes have neglected in our blinded rush to a Utopian Progress.

 

 

 

Once Bitten, Twice Shy  I’m still extremely skeptical of all “Metanarratives”.  Jean-Francois Lyotard, a late French philosopher, defined the “postmodern” condition as an incredulity toward all “Metanarratives”, which mean, a grand story that explains all of human existence, whether it be Christianity, Islam, Atheism, New Age, Marxism, etc. (http://cambridgeforecast.wordpress.com/2006/10/29/metanarratives-lyotard/).  In other words, in my view, there is not one mega-worldview that can cover all of human existence.

 

 

 

That’s why, after buying into the Christian worldview for so long, I relish my newfound freedom and have no desire to jump down another rabbit hole.  Having said that, I’ve embarking on this present spiritual journey for the last couple years, which led me to the point of breaking with Evangelicalism.  I have been researching other religions and forms of spirituality (eg First Nations sweat lodges & other ceremonies, Daoism, Jehovah’s Witnesses, Sunni Islam, Hinduism, Catholicism, etc) and find it quite enjoyable.  But I always have to insist to people that I am a spiritual pilgrim and don’t wish to become a recruit.  Not always easy, seeing how in Canada everyone seems keen on converting visitors.

 

 

 

Sacred Time vs Sacred Space In Vine Deloria Jr’s book, God Is Red, he explains how people try to invent universal spiritual worldviews into which they force the entire human race.  Indigenous peoples, on the other hand, don’t look to prophets, holy people or holy books in history so much as they look upon a sacred place of worship.  Their spirituality is based on the experience in a geographic area, a holy mountain, river, forest, etc.  That is, they look more to space rather than time.  Christians look at the Old Testament / New Testament period as their Golden Age of spiritual wisdom.  They say that Jesus’ death & so-called resurrection are the crossroads of human history.  It is history-based.  First Nations live more in the NOW and WHERE.  Seems to make more sense.

 

 

 

Loneliness and Joy Strangely enough, at times I feel extremely lonely, as if cast adrift on a huge ocean, all alone in my thoughts and quiries.  In other instances, I am so relieved and happy to be a free agent, able to freely think, without referring to some “holy book” or “holy person” for guidance.  I don’t even see myself as the ultimate.  After all, as Socrates said, I know how much I don’t know.  All my learning leads me back to the same place: Ground Zero.  And, in a sense, it is a wonderful, joyous place.  It’s like some people have said: it’s not the destination that counts, but the journey.  Like U2’s old ditty “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For”.

 

 

 

I have climbed highest mountains
I have run through the fields
Only to be with you
Only to be with you

 

 

I have run
I have crawled
I have scaled these city walls
These city walls
Only to be with youBut I still haven’t found what I’m looking for
But I still haven’t found what I’m looking for

 

I have kissed honey lips
Felt the healing in her fingertips
Burning like a fire
This burning inside her

I have spoke with the tongue of angels
I have held the hand of a devil
It was warm in the night
I was cold as a stone

But I still haven’t found what I’m looking for
But I still haven’t found what I’m looking for

I believe in the kingdom come
Then all the colors will bleed into one
Bleed into one
But yes I’m still running

You broke the bonds
And you loosed the chains
Carried the cross
Of my shame
Oh my shame
You know I believe it

But I still haven’t found what I’m looking for
But I still haven’t found what I’m looking for
But I still haven’t found what I’m looking for
But I still haven’t found what I’m looking for…
Lyrics from <a href=”http://www.elyrics.net“>eLyrics.net</a>

 

This is the heart cry of a seeker.  One who expects to find, and yet expects to keep seeking.  Maybe like the Rolling Stones’ “I Can’t Get No Satisfaction”.  Full, and yet still empty.  Content, and yet still restless.  I want to find the answer, but still don’t want someone to tell me this is THE answer, that this is all there is.  Rebellion against Metanarratives connected with a submission to the beauty and ruggedness of truth.  And I believe there is truth.  It just looks little like the fast food you and I have been dished from infancy.  Truth is solid, steadfast, relieving, and yet convicting, uncomfortable and challenging.  Beautiful, “sexy” and charming and yet tough, sometimes ugly and hard to swallow.  But it’s all there, all necessary, and all part of Mother Nature’s offering to us.  We just have to wipe the sleep out of our eyes and be willing to see.

 

 

 

Weird, I know.  But it’s lovely all the same.

 

 

 

Cheers,

 

 

 

A Seeker

 

The Spiritual Journey Is Dangerous

Wow!

At this point in life, the spiritual journey looks like a mine field.  I have recently left Evangelical Christianity along with Biblical Literalism for many reasons: the history of Christian hatred in a religion that supposedly preaches love, gross errors and contradictions in the Bible which I had either glossed over or ignored, leading my life down many unnecessary dead ends, causing friction with unbelievers, and sheer boredom of thinking a bunch of narrow-minded authorities had THE answer to my questions.  Now that that´s over, I´ve embarked on a new journey, exploring various writings on Atheism, Agnosticism, Freethinking, Skepticism and Naturalist Pantheism.

I don´t know if this is an irrational fear, but I´m very nervous about jumping ¨from the frying pan into the fire¨, i.e., getting involved in an equally or more ridiculous religious philosophy.  With all their attractions, the down side of Atheism is that it only solves half the problem: that the Christian god doesn´t exist.  Yeah, so what?  And what next?  Where do I go in figuring out moral questions?  What is now the ultimate base for the existence of humanity and the rest of the cosmos?  Where do I direct my spiritual seeking energies without going down the rabbit hole of superstition again?  And frankly, the New Atheists often look as scary to me as the Old Fundamentalists of Christendom.  They make a blanket statement that ALL religion is THE problem of humanity, when there are so many problems, for example, Money Worship, disdain for the natural environment, Western imperialism, etc.  Secularists are just as ¨good¨ at abusing nature and fellow humans as the religiosos are.

Agnosticism looks appealing in that it humbly admits, as Socrates did, that ¨I know that I don´t know¨.  On the other hand, in its wishy-washiness, Agnosticism does not have that critical edge of being able to assess religions, superstitions and truth claims.  While I believe that we´ll never really know full truth, at least we can know enough to make important decisions about life. Agnosticism almost becomes an excuse for laziness. Or, worse, Agnostics stand back while watching the religious make really stupid mistakes, fearful of speaking out, and actually having no basis to do so.

Natural Pantheism, which Richard Dawkins in The God Delusion called a ¨Sexed-Up Atheism¨, is a reverence for Nature, seeing it as divine-like. Classical Pantheists actually believe that the universe IS God, but Natural Pantheists give no personality or force-like characteristics to nature. Instead, Nature is the basis of existence, and should be honoured as such. There is no belief in spirits, or another parallel world, as in Gnosticism. This is it, what you and I see, feel, smell, taste and hear.

I´ve been attracted to Natural Pantheism recently and admired some of the articles online. However, there is a fine line here: it appears very easy for a NP to slide down the slippery slope of the metaphysics of other religions the ¨New Age¨ or the Human Potential Movement. Frankly, I´m not interested in crystals, seances, channeling, out-of-body experiences, guardian angels, manifesting, controlling the Force or Qi or Manna, or any other ridiculousness. In fact, I will join the Skeptics in publically critiquing this crap which passes for spirituality. Nor am I curious about reincarnation, resurrection, Heaven or Hell, hearing voices, healing and miracles, etc.

In addition, the REAL religions that dominate our society go under other names: Capitalism, i.e., Money-Worship, Techno-Worship, Progress, etc. Basically it´s the ¨American Dream¨ which has sucked in the entire planet. Yes, this is really a religion. Money, technology and progress seem to promise us limitlessness. We can have what we want, when we want. New technologies, as Marshall McLuhan once said, overcome our physical restrictions, that is, they extend our faculties. Cars are extensions of our feet. Phones extend our voices. Google endows us with omniscient-like qualities, the ability to ¨know all¨. These forms of belief and action are in fact even more dangerous that formal religions or New Age. Altogether, both the money-worshipping secularists and their religious counterparts are destroying nature as they continue to expand the Western Empire not only geographically, but to every sphere of human existence.

Any spirituality that´s worth its salt will oppose Empire and provide alternatives. This is the part I have rarely seen. Most religions, philosophies and spiritualities, including New Atheism, seem to also support money-making and techno-worship. However, to me, true spirituality would do no harm to the environment that sustains us. Nor harm to other humans. Truth opposes the deceit of capitalism and its twin offspring of science and technology.

While I´m all for the scientific method, and for scientific explanations of the universe, most of what science has been used for is to rape Mother Nature and increase the stock prices of the capitalists. This is something the New Atheists need to answer, instead of limiting their critiques to easy targets. And the rest of us need to find a spirituality that honours the universe without falling into superstition and cult-like tendencies. And at the same time defend nature and humans from the continued onslaught of the capitalists who screw the planet with impunity.

Back to my main idea: spirituality is dangerous. On the one hand, you could slip down one side of the slope into superstition and creepy rituals. With all your friends pushing the writings of Eckhart Tolle, Deepak Chopra, the Dalai Lama, etc, and the innumerable flakey New Agers who are ready to take your reverencing of Mother Nature and pull you down into strange superstitious practices. I was thinking of starting a Naturalist Pantheist group in my neighbourhood, but the fear of the flakes coming out of the woodwork and hijacking any effort I make discourages me at times. On the other hand, the other slippery slope is to forget spirituality, to abandon Mother Nature and just live for the same empty values as the rest of society, bowing at the altar of money and technology. Or to simply join the Freethinkers and Skeptics who spend their time sitting on their asses and scolding the religiosos, which equally appears to be a waste of time and energy.

What to do? I´m the kind of person who, like Will and Jaden Smith´s characters in the recent movie After Earth, face and eradicate my fears. And boldly moves ahead. To face off against the Money, Technology and Progress (MTP) Worshippers, the religiosos and the New Age flakes, and the divisive, troublemaking extremists in the Green and Social Justice Movements. And to seek a spirituality that respects Mother Nature, upholds a set of ethics that far surpasses the Evangelical Christians, and works toward the Common Good.

Time to dream on . . . and get moving.

Cheers,

The Seeker